Holidays
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Maurice loves holidays - Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter... everything. Roger could care less. A series of oneshots leading up to and covering every major holiday. AU. Rogice.
1. Not Even October

"It's Halloween!" Maurice cheered, jumping onto Roger's bed. Roger, who had been stabbing his math homework, glanced up.

"It's not even October yet," he pointed out. Maurice frowned at him.

"Stop ruining my joy. I'm staying over tonight," he said. "Mostly because I'm bored and Jack's being a dick."

Maurice had been staying with Jack's family for the past three years, ever since his own parents had died in a car crash. Roger, who lived across from Jack, had used to be extremely annoyed with this development, but lately he'd come to accept Maurice. Kind of. As long as he didn't touch him.

Problem with that? Maurice touched people. A lot. Roger had – accidentally, sort of – broken his arm once when Maurice _wouldn't stop hugging him. _

"And I brought movies!" Maurice said, bouncing up and down.

"You're going to break the bed," Roger muttered, shoving Maurice's legs out from under him. This was a mistake. Maurice landed on top of him. "Get off."

"Your fault," Maurice said, shrugging and sliding off of the bed. "But, anyway. We're gonna watch movies! On your laptop? On your laptop-"

"Why on my laptop? That would require us to be close. Can't we just-"

"Nope. On the laptop. Go make popcorn!"

Roger rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering under his breath all the while. His parents were gone, as usual – they worked all the time, and when they weren't working, they were sleeping – so he would've had the house to himself. And, since they were gone, they could've watched Maurice's stupid movies on the TV in the living room. But Maurice didn't care about logic, it seemed.

One of the ways Roger tried to discourage Maurice from coming over was burning the popcorn and, if the popcorn turned out perfect, salting it until it was almost unbearable. But Maurice couldn't take a hint.

By the time Roger got back with the half-burned, half-extremely salty popcorn Maurice had curled up on Roger's bed, messing with his computer.

"Type in your password," Maurice said, glancing up. Roger rolled his eyes and did so, yanking his blanket away from Maurice after.

* * *

Apparently they'd fallen asleep during the movie, because when Roger woke up, he was curled up next to Maurice, his laptop dead and pushed to the foot of his bed, and popcorn kernels everywhere. He spent a little bit of time freaking out about being so close to Maurice, then a little bit of time being annoyed at the popcorn all over his bed, and then Maurice woke up.

"Oh, hi Roger," he said. "You have a comfortable bed."

With that the dark-haired annoyance rolled over, taking the blanket with him and pushing Roger onto the floor. Roger was tempted to push him out the window, then decided that he would make breakfast instead.

Being home alone every day since he was five had given Roger plenty of time to do whatever he wanted and eat whatever he wanted, so, naturally, he learned to cook. He wasn't that bad, either, though people often complained that it was always too salty, or too sweet, but mostly too salty.

(To be honest, Roger didn't actually like the salty taste; it was just his way of subtly telling people he didn't like them.)

Today, though, he didn't have enough energy to make the scrambled eggs super-salty. He added cheese and chopped-up pieces of leftover bacon instead. At a quarter past nine, Maurice stumbled downstairs.

"Ooh. Food," he said, reaching for the pan. Roger hit his hand with a wooden spoon. "What?"

"Clean off my bed," he said. Maurice sighed, but stomped back upstairs. Roger smirked and waited.

Maurice was down a few minutes later. The popcorn kernels were probably just under Roger's bed now, but Roger didn't really care about the underside of his bed.

"Now can I eat?" Maurice asked. Roger nodded, and Maurice sat down. "So, about Halloween…"

* * *

**So, yeah. :D Each Saturday it will be another cute little oneshot, and the Saturday closest to Halloween there will be a Halloween oneshot. :) Then we'll lead up to Thanksgiving, then Christmas, et cetera. **

**Should be fun, right? And you can never have too much Rogice.  
**


	2. Happy Mad Hatter Day

"Happy Mad Hatter Day!"

Roger just looked at him. "What?"

"Mad Hatter Day."

"You're making that up."

"No, I'm not. And because it's Mad Hatter Day, I think we should go freak people out and act insane," Maurice said. Roger rolled his eyes, then thought of something.

"How did you get into my room?"

Maurice grinned. "Your window was unlocked."

"No it wasn't," Roger said. After a different incident that had involved Maurice sneaking into his bedroom through his window, Roger made sure his window was locked at all times. Maurice sighed.

"Fine, your mom let me in," he said. "But that's not important! You need to wear weirder clothes."

Roger could only watch as Maurice dug through his closet, eventually settling on black skinny jeans that Roger was fairly sure were Jack's and pulling a huge, bright orange t-shirt out of his backpack. "Now you'll look Halloween-y, too!" Maurice cheered. "Speaking of Halloween, we need to decide on costumes."

"Why?" Roger had actually been planning on staying home and handing out candy to little kids, possibly freaking them out a little bit. He hadn't been planning on wearing a costume – just a huge trenchcoat and a fedora would work, especially if he glared at them as they took the candy. Then their parents would warn all of the other parents to stay away from his house, and then he'd get to use the candy to bribe Maurice to do stuff for him.

"Because we're going trick-or-treating!" Maurice said.

"I don't even _like _candy," Roger muttered. Maurice grinned.

"Then you can give it all to me!"

"No. And I'm not wearing that," Roger said.

Thirty minutes later, Maurice dragged Roger out of his house. Roger was wearing the skinny jeans and orange shirt. Maurice had also tried to force him into some bright blue Converse, but Roger had drawn the line at that. They settled on black.

Despite Roger's idea that they should just go to the park and torment small children, Maurice decided that they were going to go to the movies. And then a bookstore, where Maurice bought Roger Stephen King and himself Rick Riordan.

"Where do you get all of this money?" Roger asked. Maurice grinned.

"Jack's wallet," he said. Roger rolled his eyes, and Maurice dragged him to Wal-Mart.

Eventually, Roger managed to get back home. Unfortunately, Maurice followed him. "You should make me supper."

"It's three in the afternoon," Roger pointed out.

"Lunch, then. An afternoon snack. Macaroni and cheese."

"I don't like macaroni and cheese."

"You don't like anything. Please?"

"Fine," Roger muttered.

* * *

Maurice decided to organize Roger's room while Roger was making him food. He grabbed the book he'd just bought Roger and went over to the boy's bookshelf.

It was a mess of unread books. "Alphabetical order you go!" Maurice chirped.

Twenty minutes later, Roger was back, and Maurice was sitting on his floor, putting all of his books in order. He actually had quite a few books, and all of them looked like they'd never been read. Maurice didn't read that much, but he liked the Percy Jackson series and Harry Potter.

"What're you doing?" Roger asked.

"Organizing," Maurice said. "Your bookshelf isn't in alphabetical order."

"Should it be?"

"Yes."

"Well, food's ready," Roger said, shrugging. "And if you find my copy of Saw, bring it down. I'm going to watch it after I'm done eating."

"That sounds like a stupid idea," Maurice said, beginning to reshelve the books. After about ten more minutes, he was done. He hadn't found Saw, but he had found Saw II, so he brought that down instead.

"Food's on the stove," Roger said. Maurice grabbed the pot and a fork.

"Hey, you didn't salt it this time! Does that mean you're starting to like me?"

Roger walked over with the salt shaker and poured half of it in the noodles.

"Nope," he said, grabbing his movie and going to the living room. Maurice grinned. Roger never changed.

* * *

**Yeah, today is Mad Hatter Day.**

**Also, if any of you have any suggestions for Halloween costumes, I'd appreciate them. Cx**


	3. International Skeptics Day

Weirdly enough, Maurice wasn't sitting in his room, creepily staring at him as he woke up this morning. Roger glanced over at the clock – maybe it was too early for Maurice to be up. No, it was nearly nine. There was no way Maurice would've let him sleep in this late on a normal day.

What, was it Opposite Day or something?

Roger tried to sleep for another thirty minutes, then got curious. _Was _it opposite day?

He reached down and grabbed his computer from under his bed. Technically it was supposed to be on his bedside table, but somehow it always ended up under there. He brushed some stray popcorn kernels from the top and opened it. It was still on from last night.

_Holidays for October 13__th__. _

Roger hit enter and prepared to sift through pages upon pages of useless information, then noticed that a document of Microsoft Word was open.

_Hi Roger!_

_Today I decided to not wake you up because you had a basketball game last night and also because me and Jack and his parents are going somewhere today, so it would be kind of pointless. But your mom let me in. Again. And your bedroom door was unlocked. And your computer was up and running so I could mess with it. I looked at your iTunes. I wasn't surprised._

_Anyway, that's basically it._

_Happy International Skeptics Day!_

_Maurice_

Roger sighed. What was he going to do today?

Not like he missed Maurice's constant, annoying presence. But if Jack was gone, too… nobody else really liked to be around him, because they were generally scared of him.

Oh well. He had homework, anyway, and he could always watch movies or something off of Netflix. Or he could play those violent video games his parents hated but didn't care enough about to take away.

* * *

At seven-thirty at night, Maurice came through the window.

Because Maurice had been gone, Roger had decided to open the window. It was nice out, after all, especially for October. Maurice apparently took an open window as a sign of 'come in, annoying people', because while Roger was killing his math homework, Maurice toppled through his window and nearly landed on top of him. Roger jumped and glanced at him.

"I thought you were gone today."

"Well, yeah, but the day's over now!" Maurice said cheerfully. "I brought you some chocolate from the chocolate place we went to. It's that gross eighty percent cocoa that you like."

"Oh," Roger said. "Why can't you come through the front door like a normal person?"

"Why can't you do your math homework without stabbing it? That's probably why you have C."

"Yeah, and what do you have?"

Maurice stood up and struck a ridiculous pose. "I have straight A's, thank you very much. I'm just naturally talented. I don't even ever have homework."

"Whatever," Roger said, rolling his eyes. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I figured you'd be bored," Maurice said, shrugging. "Did you see my note? Honestly, Roger, get some diversity in your music taste. Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, and Apocalyptica are all basically the same thing-"

"Apocalyptica has some instrumental stuff," Roger pointed out. Maurice waved him off.

"When the lightest songs you have are by Papa Roach, you know you have a problem," Maurice said. "Speaking of your music taste, I also got you a T-shirt."

With that, he threw the bag he'd been carrying at Roger. The first thing that came out was the chocolate, then an oversized white t-shirt with bands Roger listened to scrawled all over it. "Why do people always get me shirts that are too big?" Roger asked. "I'm not this large."

"You're actually pretty tiny!" Maurice said. "Short. And scrawny."

"I'm not scrawny," Roger said. "I'm just not big."

"Scrawny. By the way, I'm staying over tonight."

"When will you get bored with me?" Roger asked. Maurice looked at him, obviously confused. "Look, I know I'm weird. I don't talk to people, I like hurting people, and you just think that's interesting for some fucked up reason. When are you going to get bored with me and leave me alone?"

Maurice looked startled. He recovered quickly, however, and grinned and hugged Roger. Roger tried to wriggle free, but Maurice kept a tight hold on him. "Silly Roger. You're my best friend!"

"I''m Roger. I'm my own best friend," Roger muttered. "Now let go of me before I push you out the window."

"You'd end up going out the window, too," Maurice pointed out.

"Shut up."

* * *

**Uh. Yeah. **

**This is actually the only fanfiction that I've had the motivation to update this week because it's Rogice Saturday and Rogice is good.**


	4. Suspenders Day

His bed was unusually warm.

Roger opened his eyes and, sure enough, Maurice was in his bed, taking up almost all of the covers and Roger was pretty sure that, if Maurice hadn't been holding onto him, he would be on the floor. Roger wriggled out of Maurice's arms and managed to land on his feet, albeit clumsily. He then proceeded to hit Maurice in the face.

Maurice woke up.

"What are you doing here?" Roger asked.

"Sleeping," Maurice yawned. "I'm hungry. Can you make me some food?"

"When did you get here? Why are you here?"

"Like, three… uh, because Jack's a dick. And his family's mean, too?" Maurice offered. Roger rolled his eyes and, just as he was about to hit Maurice again, the house phone rang.

"Leave," Roger ordered as he exited the room and bounded down the stairs, just managing to answer the phone before it went to voicemail. "Hello?"

"_Roger, is that you?"_

"Jack?"

"_Yeah. Um, we lost Maurice."_

"He's here."

"_Oh. How does he keep getting into your house?"_

"He says my mom lets him in but I think he can pick the lock. We've been looking into an alarm."

"You don't have to."

Roger jumped. Maurice was standing behind him. "What?"

"You don't need to make me food, either. I'm leaving," he said. Roger blinked and watched as Maurice left his house.

"Uh, bye," Roger said, hanging up on Jack and following Maurice, ignoring the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt and it was October. "Maurice! Where are you going?"

"Dunno!" Maurice said, looking over his shoulder and grinning at Roger. "But I hate living with Jack and his family. They're too boring, and they make me study even though I don't need to. And you don't even like me, so when I come over to your house I feel like you just want me to fall out the window and die."

Roger had to admit to himself that he had thought that sometimes.

"You can't just _leave_!" Roger said. "You'll get run over. Or fall into a river. Or get raped and murdered."

Maurice snorted. "Yeah. Like that'll happen. And even if it does, like anyone'll care."

"Where did this come from?" Roger asked. Maurice just looked at him, and he shifted uncomfortably. "Seriously, though. You never…"

"Maybe I'm just sick of being unwanted," Maurice said, shrugging. With that, he kept walking.

Roger had no idea what he was going to do.

It was completely irrational, but he couldn't imagine his life without Maurice shoving his way into it.

He didn't know what to do, and Maurice was walking further and further away.

Jack was coming from his house. Roger glanced at him, then at Maurice – who had begun to skip, of all things, at least he wasn't completely depressed – and, with a sigh, ran after him.

He caught him with a flying tackle, unbalancing him even though he was about four inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than Roger.

"Don't leave, idiot," Roger said. Maurice rolled over to look at him. "If you can't stand living at Jack's then I guess you could- you could- livewithme."

"What?" Maurice asked. Roger, who was certain that Maurice had heard exactly what he'd said but just wanted to be annoying, sighed.

"You could live at my house. With me," Roger said. Maurice grinned and spontaneously hugged him. Roger felt his face heat up. "I mean, we'd have to talk to my parents, but we have an extra bedroom, and-"

"Shut up Roger," Maurice said, voice muffled. His face was buried in Roger's shoulder. Roger normally would've shoved Maurice away, but, to be honest, he was freezing, and Maurice was very warm. "Thank you. And happy Suspenders Day."

* * *

**Words cannot express how much I adore this pairing.**

**Also, my other LotF fics should be being updated soon, but may stop mid-November, seeing as NaNoWriMo's going on and I may not get things finished ahead of time. But this will probably always be updated. Because it's Rogice Saturday and Rogice Saturday is a sacred thing. **


	5. Potato Day

Life with Maurice in the house was… weird, to say the least. It was a lot less quiet, and Roger wasn't alone as much – with Maurice coming home from school with him and Maurice eating food with him and Maurice, Maurice, Maurice all the time.

The bright side of this was the fact that Roger was never late for school anymore. He was always up at _six_, thanks to Maurice, who demanded food from him. Usually it was eggs, because eggs were easy to make. And sometimes, on the weekends, Maurice let him sleep in until seven-thirty.

Not today, apparently.

"Roger! Roger we need to go to McDonald's because it's Potato Day!"

Roger sat up, squinting until his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. He then realized that Maurice was right in front of his face and fell back into his pillows. Maurice grinned and, to Roger's surprise, kissed him on the cheek before bounding away.

Roger had to make a conscious effort to not stutter.

"So, why are we going to McDonald's?"

"To get French fries," Maurice said promptly. "Also, next week's Halloween and we still don't know what we're going to be."

"But-"

"No excuses! Get dressed and let's go!"

Twenty minutes later, Roger and Maurice were walking to McDonald's. Roger was shivering – Maurice had pulled him out of the house before he'd had the chance to check the temperature and see if he should bring his coat. Maurice, who apparently just didn't like coats, glanced at him.

"Are you cold?" he asked. Roger shook his head. Maurice rolled his eyes. "You're so cold."

"I'm not cold."

"You're shivering. And you have goosebumps," Maurice pointed out. Roger scowled. Maurice threw an arm around his shoulders and Roger stiffened. Even though he was getting used to Maurice-level affection, the fact that Maurice was always _touching _him still kind of freaked Roger out. "Am I warm enough?"

Roger didn't reply, and Maurice grinned at him. Roger turned red.

* * *

Maurice was frustrated.

There were too many _forms _to transfer him from the Merridew household to the Dressler household. Roger's parents had begun to work on filling them out, but there were too many and with Roger's parents working all the time they weren't going to get done on time.

So Maurice had tried his hand at forgery.

Signatures were easy; all he had to do was trace with a pencil, fix it with a pencil, and then go over it with a pen. But actual handwriting… that was tougher. The Merridews had finished their side the first night, but, then again, they were _Merridews. _

Roger entered the living room, where Maurice was kneeling at the coffee table, working on the forms. He had a steaming mug in each hand. "I made hot chocolate," he said. Maurice looked up at him and grinned.

"Let's watch a movie!" Maurice chirped. "Can we watch a really old Stephen King movie? Because Stephen King movies aren't really scary at all and just good? Actually most of the time they're pretty crappy, but Pet Sematary was good, and apparently Children of the Corn scared some people. Psychotic children? Who would buy that?"

"I think Children of the Corn's on Netflix," Roger said, grabbing the Wii remote and sitting down on the couch. Maurice picked up the forms and joined him. After a bit, Children of the Corn was playing.

* * *

As with every time they'd fallen asleep watching a movie, they woke up curled together. This time they were even closer than the time on the bed; Roger had abandoned the arm of the couch for the softer, warmer Maurice, who had responded by wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. Roger's head was tucked underneath Maurice's chin, and the two of them just looked at peace.

And then, at nine in the morning, Jack Merridew walked through the door.

"Roger? Maurice? Maurice, I know you're awake, you can't stand to sleep after seven!"

Maurice shifted and Roger woke up. It took him a while to realize where he was, but when he did, he flushed a bright red. Oh. Oh he was… he was…

And then Maurice woke up.

"Oh, hello Roger," he said. Roger wriggled out of Maurice's arms and the two of them managed to get a good distance apart before Jack made it to the living room.

"Children of the Corn? That movie was horrib-"

"I thought Malachi was a lot like you, Jack," Maurice chirped.

* * *

**On a side note, there is somebody else that has written something Rogice. Go check out wholockflies's story "Paradisiacal." **

**THE SECOND CHAPTER IS ROGICE.**

**CHECK. IT. OUT.**

**it is so beautiful**


	6. Halloween

"No."

"Aw, c'mon Roger!" Maurice complained, waving the costume in front of his face again. "You'll look good!"

"I am not wearing a women's costume."

"But why _not_?"

"Because it's degrading and a skirt and really short!" Roger said. Maurice sighed and put the costume back on the rack.

"How about pirates! We can be pirates!" Maurice said. He'd seen the couples' costumes.

"As long as I don't have to wear a skirt," Roger said. Maurice stopped halfway to the couples' costumes area and sighed. "Hey, here's an idea – you could wear the skirt."

"But I'm bigger than you. It would look ridiculous. And plus you're more girl-shaped than I am," Maurice said. Roger just looked at him. "I mean, you're littler. And prettier. And would look better in a skirt. C'mon, just try one on!"

"I am not crossdressing!"

"Not even for a little bit?"

"No!"

Maurice got that look in his eye that made Roger want to run far, far away. He must've seen a costume that would put all the others he'd tried to force Roger into to shame. Roger looked around, trying to see which one it was. Before he could see, however, Maurice got an arm around his neck and started dragging him toward the changing rooms, grabbing what he presumed was the costume on his way there. Roger struggled, but Maurice was bigger. And, as much as he hated to admit it, a little bit stronger.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way," Maurice said. He'd cornered Roger and was brandishing a _maid _costume. "The easy way is you just put it on, you look at yourself in the mirror, I drag you out of here for about three seconds for the world to see, you bite me and run back in here and change back into your clothes and go as the devil or something. Or, you can fight me and I can force this costume on you, take dozens of pictures, drag you out for the public to see, post the pictures on Facebook, and force you to wear this when we go trick-or-treating, me dressing to match, of course. Your choice."

Roger looked to see if he could possibly climb out of the dressing room. Then he wondered if he could crawl underneath the doors. Then Maurice got impatient and started to take Roger's shirt off of his body.

"If you don't stop fighting me I will kiss you!" Maurice said. Roger kept fighting, and Maurice kept pulling on his shirt. Eventually, Roger was left shirtless and redfaced. Maurice looked at his pants.

Roger took off his own pants.

"And the shoes and socks," Maurice instructed. Roger did as he asked. "On Halloween you'll probably need different underwear, but for trying it on this will do-" With that he flipped Roger onto his back and shoved him into some tights.

"Stop!" Roger said, struggling. Maurice ended up sitting on his chest. "Get off!"

"Then put on the costume."

"No!"

"Okay then," Maurice said, shrugging. He then got the little dress on Roger, who was growing redder by the minute. Roger tried to escape again. Maurice just held him down this time; he didn't want to mess up the dress. He started texting something. "Now the high heels and the little hat and that bow around your neck and you'll be set."

Maurice nearly strangled him trying to get the bow around his neck, but in the end, Roger was dressed in the maid costume. Maurice then opened the door a fraction to talk to a sales' clerk. "Is it possible to pay for the costumes now? I don't think I'm getting it on him again."

"Well…"

"I'll pay extra?"

"Whatever," the sales' clerk said, and Maurice handed her a wad of bills, then got into the butler costume as quickly as he could. He then grabbed onto Roger's arm and dragged him out of the dressing room.

"My clothes-"

"Bill will get them."

"Bill's not here!"

"Yes he is!"

"_What_?"

"You were being too difficult so I invited everybody," Maurice said. "Now come on. We've only got a little bit before we go trick-or-treating."

"_I am not wearing this trick-or-treating!"_

* * *

Roger ended up wearing the maid outfit. Maurice looked rather dashing in his butler outfit, and Roger… well… he was wearing a very short dress.

"You are ruining my life," Roger hissed. Maurice shrugged.

"Too bad," he said. "You could've just tried it on and been something else. But, no. You had to do it the hard way."

"_Please_ let me change," Roger said. "I'm practically begging you."

"But you look so cute!"

"I look like a crossdresser!"

"A cute crossdresser!"

"No!"

After a bit more begging, Roger was able to duck into a public bathroom and changed into a devil costume, complete with a pitchfork. It was a real pitchfork. He'd denied the plastic one in favor of one that he could actually stab people with.

"This is much better," Roger said, adjusting his cape. "Maurice?"

Maurice was wearing the girl version.

"Oh my god, you're wearing a dress," Roger said. Maurice was almost as red as his costume. "_Why?"_

"So we match!"

"You're an idiot."

"I'm a certified genius."

"No. You're an idiot."

"A certified genius idiot."

"Shut up."

* * *

**And this is probably the last one for a while because NaNoWriMo is taking over my life.**

**So. Um.  
**

**Yeah.  
**


	7. Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day

Nothing much had been happening in the past few weeks – Maurice had managed to get increasingly closer to him, both mentally and physically a few times. Jack dropped over every once in a while, claiming that his family was worried that Roger's home was not a suitable place for Maurice to stay.

Thankfully, Roger's parents had been home the times that Mr. and Mrs. Merridew had dropped by.

Every day, Maurice told Roger about a random holiday. And every Saturday, he tried to get him to celebrate it.

"Roger! Roger! Roger! It's time to wake up!"

And there was Maurice.

"What do you want?" Roger asked, turning onto his stomach and hiding his face in his pillow. He felt Maurice leap onto his bed, and making the balance uneven. Roger had to work fairly hard to stay where he was. "Let me sleep. We stayed up late last night, remember?"

Maurice paused, and got off of Roger's bed. Roger thought that he'd decided to just leave – _thank God, _Roger thought, _he's going to let me sleep – _but a few moments later, Roger was yanked out of his bed and carried downstairs.

"Put me down!" Roger said, struggling, kicking, debating biting Maurice, then deciding that Maurice would probably take that as an invitation to bite Roger back, or maybe _kiss _him. Or _lick _him. Both were things that Maurice had done before.

Roger sometimes wondered why he put up with Maurice – he was annoying, talkative, he _touched _Roger too much, and was all-around not the type of person Roger usually liked. Except the fact that Maurice didn't seem to have a problem with him.

Then Maurice dumped him on the couch and stood in front of him. He was dressed in some sort of ridiculous superhero costume – it looked like a copy of a Superman costume, except in pink and purple, with the letters 'AM' on the front.

"What are you doing?" Roger asked. Maurice grinned, and Roger got even more suspicious. "I'm serious. What's going on?"

"Today is Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day!" Maurice said, grinning brightly. "My unique talent is being super-affectionate! So, today I am Affection Man! Well, I'm Affection Man every day, but today I'm wearing my superhero costume. I have a cape!"

Maurice spun around and his purple cape smacked Roger in the face. Roger stood up, very nearly tripped over a blanket, pushed Maurice over, and went to go make himself some PopTarts.

About thirty minutes later, after Maurice had burned his own PopTarts and gotten Roger to make some for him and Roger had managed to get dressed without Maurice bursting in the room every few seconds screaming 'Affection Man!', the two headed to the park to go torment some small children.

And Maurice planned to see if he could fly by jumping off of the highest slide.

But Roger was pretending that Maurice wasn't a total idiot.

Bill was already at the park, watching his little sister. He nodded to Roger, rolled his eyes at Maurice, and went back to texting his girlfriend. Maurice grabbed Roger's hand and pulled him over to the sandbox, where several small children were building sandcastles.

"It's time for you to celebrate your unique talent by bullying these small children!" Maurice said brightly. He left Roger there and went to go climb the slide.

Roger made quick work of the sandcastles, kicking them down and also kicking one of the children that refused to leave. He either got sand in the littlest one's eye or the kid was just a baby, because the kid ran away crying.

One of the kids was Bill's little sister. She ran over to Bill as Roger went back to try and talk Maurice out of jumping off of the slide.

"You're only going to hurt yourself!" Roger shouted. Maurice shook his head, his cape billowing out in the wind. Roger shivered. It was fairly warm for November standards, but it was still windy. "Fine then! Kill yourself for all I care!"

"You care!" Maurice said, grinning down at him. Roger rolled his eyes and shook his head. He turned to walk away and ran straight into Bill.

"Hey," Bill said. "You bullied my little sister. That's not cool."

"You have a little sister?" Roger asked. He then spotted the little blonde girl peeking around Bill's legs. "Oh. Yeah, you do."

"Why else would I be sitting on a park bench, texting?" Bill asked.

"Touché."

"I'm going to jump!" Maurice cried. Nobody paid any attention to him, mostly because small children jumped off of that slide all of the time and honestly, they never got more than a few cuts and bruises, apart from one, who broke his arm. But Maurice had already had to deal with a broken arm, so he knew how that went.

"Just if you're going to torment small children, make sure you leave my sister alone," Bill said, glaring at Roger, who was at least half a foot shorter and seventy pounds lighter than Bill.

Roger rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Okay."

"I'm serious," Bill said. Roger rolled his eyes again and turned to see what Maurice was doing, if he was going to jump or not.

Maurice was crouched on top of the slide, looking like he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to jump.

"Are you gonna do it or not?" Roger asked.

"Be patient!" Maurice yelled back. Roger rolled his eyes and then Bill pushed him. He fell into the jungle gym and tasted blood.

And then Maurice jumped.

He'd been calculating just how he'd need to jump if he wanted to land on Bill. He'd been a little off, but still managed to slow himself down on Bill's face. He nearly landed on Bill's little sister, but she ran out of the way in time. Roger turned around just in time to see Maurice get up.

His arm looked like he'd broken it again.

As did Bill's nose.

"Ready to go to the hospital?" Roger asked Maurice. Maurice looked at him and managed a sort-of grin.

* * *

"You're an idiot," Roger told Maurice, who was currently in a cast. He was spending the night at the hospital – Maurice was, though Roger figured that he would end up spending the night in the waiting room. "Why would you jump?"

"Bill was angry," Maurice said. "And he's twice your size."

"Yeah, but he would've cut it out. And I don't have problems defending myself, even if they are twice my size," Roger said. "I could've just-"

"Shut up, Roger," Maurice said. He glanced out the window. "Bill's okay?"

"He's fine," Roger said, rolling his eyes. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

**And AurorA is back. :D Once again, I finished my NaNoWriMo early, ending up at about 67k. **

**Look forward to everything being updated soon. **


	8. World AIDs Day

Maurice, who actually got up about two hours before waking Roger, was researching holidays for the current day – December 1st. It had snowed overnight, and that was nice, so maybe whatever they did could involve the new snow.

He figured out Roger's password (really, Roger should be more creative – his middle name was not a good password) and went to Wikipedia to figure out what was going on. He really needed his own computer.

And right at the bottom… Thai holidays, Romanian holidays, Costa Rican holidays… ah, there was an international holiday! World… AIDs… Day…

Well, they could either have an incredibly awkward celebration or they could pretend that there was no holiday for this day.

* * *

Roger was suspicious.

He'd woken up at nine that day, and when he'd gone downstairs, Maurice had just been sitting at the table, quietly eating a bowl of cereal. Roger looked at him skeptically and then made himself some toast and coffee.

"What do you want to do today?" Maurice asked. Roger blinked. Maurice _never _asked him what he wanted to do. It was always 'we're doing this today!' or 'come on or I'll actually put those pictures I took on Halloween on the internet!'

"Dunno," Roger said. He glanced outside. Ooh. Snow.

"Should we invite people over and watch TV or play board games?" Maurice said. He looked like he was getting excited now – quiet Maurice could only last for so long. "Ooh! Ooh! You can make us all hot chocolate and we can play Life on the Wii!"

"Why would anyone want to do that?" Roger asked, but Maurice was already texting people. "It's only four-player, you know."

"Yeah," Maurice said. "I'm inviting Jack and Simon."

"Jack and who?" Roger asked. Maurice pulled a laptop that looked suspiciously like Roger's out from under his chair and messed with it a bit, then handed it over to Roger.

It was his laptop, and Maurice was logged into Facebook.

"Simon Drake," Roger said, looking at the picture of a smallish, darkish boy holding a gigantic lizard. "Why does he have a lizard?"

"Dunno," Maurice said, shrugging. "But he's in my math class. He's a little weird, but nice. He'd be a good influence on your, Roger."

"I don't need any good influences," Roger muttered. He finished his breakfast just as someone – Jack, probably – knocked on the door. Maurice leaped up from his chair and, knocking over his bowl of cereal and Roger in the process, answered. Roger sighed and began to clean up the cereal.

"It's Simon!" Maurice said. Roger heard a quiet 'hello' and then Maurice was dragging the smallish boy – without his lizard this time – into the kitchen. "Simon, this is Roger. He's very creepy and I suspect he may be a sadist. The password on his computer is very easy to guess if you know his middle name. He is very short but he hurts people and he broke my arm once. Well, twice, actually. Because my arm's broken right now. We like to watch horror movies together. Roger, this is Simon. He's very innocent and nice. Please do not corrupt him like you corrupted me."

"I didn't corrupt you," Roger said, rinsing out the rag he'd used to clean up the cereal. "You forced your way into my life and decided to be interested in whatever I did."

"He corrupted me," Maurice told Simon, who smiled awkwardly. Someone else knocked on the door. "Ooh, Jack's here!"

He left Simon and Roger alone. Roger ignored Simon. Simon fidgeted awkwardly. It was an awkward existence.

* * *

"Ha! That's why you go to college!" Jack said. He'd just become a lawyer. Maurice, who had not elected to go to college and was also being a girl, rolled his eyes and claimed that his profession as a salesperson was much better.

Then Maurice got married. "Roger! I got married to you! Look! It looks just like you!" Maurice said. He was far too excited about this. Roger rolled his eyes and ignored him.

Until Maurice kissed him.

Then Roger shoved Maurice off of the couch. "What are you _doing_?" Roger asked. He was fairly certain that he was bright red, but he didn't care. Both Jack and Simon looked at them.

"Well, uh, I should be going now," Simon said, smiling awkwardly at all of them. "I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

Jack left then, despite his competitive nature and desire to win, and then it was just Maurice and Roger, Roger bright red and sitting on the couch, Maurice deciding that kissing Roger probably wasn't the best idea.

Roger spoke at last. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Because I like you, Roger," Maurice said, standing up and smiling. Roger swallowed, still a little weirded out. Maurice skipped off, humming under his breath.

* * *

**And here we go. Cx This is going fantastically, isn't it? **


	9. National Youth Day

"We can pretend that we live in Albania, right?" Maurice muttered under his breath as he looked at the holidays for December 8th. The only holiday that even seemed remotely interesting was National Youth Day in Albania. It worked.

He really needed his own computer.

Also it would be nice if his arm would stop being hurt now.

Roger had been really… weird after the little incident last Saturday. Yes, Maurice had kissed him. Yes, Maurice had meant it. No, Roger did not need to overreact – of course, Roger wasn't used to any sort of affection. At all. His parents were always gone, and when they were here, they were usually sleeping or asking him about his grades, which, to be honest, weren't the best. Then there would be the 'you could do better' speech and Roger locking himself in his room for a few hours.

And usually Maurice sitting outside Roger's bedroom, ready to comfort if Roger decided he needed such comfort. He usually didn't, but what if one day he really, really needed to be comforted and Maurice was… doing something else? Then Roger would feel unwanted and possibly commit suicide.

Maurice had watched many ABC family movies about this issue.

Roger's parents were home today, and Maurice was just waiting for the discussion to happen. He usually tried to hide his papers in his room – it would just make Roger feel worse if he saw Maurice's A+, A+, A+, A- (he'd never been very good at History; it bored him when they had to go over everything over and over and over). Hopefully, Roger's parents wouldn't care that Maurice was doing fantastically while their son's only 'A' was in PE.

He hadn't even woken up Roger this morning, that's how nice he was being.

He sometimes felt really bad for Roger. He was always all alone… well, apart from Maurice. Maurice was the only person that frequently sought out Roger and made him feel important. Maurice figured that that was probably a nice thing to do.

"They don't work today," Roger said. Maurice glanced up from Roger's laptop. Roger had gotten up earlier than he liked to; it wasn't even eight yet. "I don't want to go down there."

"You'll be fine," Maurice said, sending him a grin and shutting his laptop. It was a little hard, typing with one hand, but it worked out okay. He was getting quite fast, and he'd turned on 'autocorrect' so that he wouldn't have to put in all of the stupid little apostrophes. "You always are."

"But I'm failing Math," Roger pointed out.

"That's because you stab your paper – hold on, I thought you had a C. What happened?" Maurice asked.

Maurice sometimes liked to hack into other people's grades. They were posted online; all you needed was a password and username.

Maurice had found the administrator password, so he could look at anyone's grades. But he really only looked at Roger's. And sometimes Jack's, if he wanted to tease him about something. And once he'd checked Bill's, to see if he was as smart as he was cool.

(Bill maintained a 'B' average. This was a sufficient mixture of intelligence and coolness.)

* * *

Maurice stayed in his bedroom – it had previously been the guest bedroom/maybe if we have another child? bedroom, but now it was Maurice's – almost the entire day, popping down to get lunch and then going straight back up, making up something about a project that he had to do and no, Roger didn't have to do it, too, this wasn't a class that Roger took.

This time, when Roger shut himself in his room, the door wasn't locked. Maurice slid in cautiously.

Roger was just lying on his bed, headphones on, iPod presumably turned way up. Maurice sneaked over to his bed and sat down beside his elbow. Roger's gaze flickered to him for a second, then went back to staring at the ceiling.

They sat in awkward silence before Roger spoke.

"Lock the door. I don't want them coming in."

Maurice, feeling a bit of pride at Roger not minding him being in his room when he was being emotional/depressed/whatever, locked the door for him. Roger sat up and let the headphones fall to hanging around his neck. Maurice could hear music blaring from it. Roger was going to go deaf.

Not like Maurice didn't listen to his music at a very high volume. He was probably going to go deaf, too.

"Do we need to have a therapy session?" Maurice asked, forcing himself to stay happy and bouncy and just all-around Maurice-y. "I've always wanted to be a therapist! Ooh, I'll grab your desk chair and-"

"Just shut up," Roger said. At that moment he looked incredibly small and vulnerable; paired with his way-too-big shirt, he looked like a lost little boy that had just survived a bus crash.

Okay, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it.

"Do you need a hug?" Maurice asked. Not waiting for Roger's answer, he leaped onto Roger's bed and hugged him, accidentally almost crushing his iPod. Roger didn't stiffen for once, and actually seemed to deflate into Maurice, who hugged him tighter. "You'll be okay! Because you're Roger!"

"It just pisses me off," Roger muttered into Maurice's shoulder. "I'm not good at school. I can't concentrate. I can't care enough to study so I fail tests. Why don't- why can't they just… just accept the fact that I'm going to probably have a minimum wage, high-labor job for the rest of my life-"

"Don't say that," Maurice said. "I'll let you live with me in my mansion. And you don't have to work at all."

He could practically feel Roger rolling his eyes. "Yeah," Roger muttered. "That will happen."

* * *

**Hooray?**

**I'm not sure if that's the right word here.**

**I don't think it is.**

**But, whatever.**


	10. The First Weekend of Christmas

"Hey Roger," Maurice said, leaning over Roger's laptop to get closer to the other boy to get his attention. "What do you want to do for Christmas?"

"Do we have to do anything?" Roger asked. Maurice looked shocked. "What? I never do anything for Christmas."

"Don't you have a lovely family Christmas with presents and food?" Maurice asked. "That's what normal families do. Even _Jack's _family pretends to like each other for Christmas day."

Roger shrugged. "My parents usually leave on December 21st and don't come back until January 3rd. I'm on my own for the entire Christmas and New Years thing."

"That's sad," Maurice said. He looked around at the house. It was really boring-looking. "We need to go get some Christmas decorations! A tree! We can buy presents! And also lights! We can Christmas-ify your entire house!"

"Oh joy," Roger muttered. He had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

Maurice was having way too much fun picking out a tree, Roger realized. He was bouncing from foot to foot, trying to decide between two coniferous plants that Roger honestly couldn't see the different between.

"Hurry up," Roger complained. "I'm cold."

"You can't rush perfection," Maurice said. He studied the trees a minute longer, than shook his head. "Neither of them."

"Can't we just get one of the plastic ones from J.C. Penny's?" Roger wondered. "They have the multicolored ones."

"No!" Maurice said. He looked like Roger had just killed his mother. Which was really a stupid look for him to have, because his mother was already dead and had been dead for a few years now. "We need a real one, because you are going to have a real Christmas. And when we go to the mall, we're going to split up. You're going to by me presents, and I'm going to buy you presents. It's going to be fantastic! We can even have people wrap them for us! Do your parents even give you presents?"

"They usually just give me money," Roger said. "Then I spend it. And we don't make a big deal out of it."

"Well, I'm going to find a perfect tree," Maurice said, skipping off.

A while later, Maurice found a tree. It was huge and, Roger had to admit, kind of awesome.

What wasn't so awesome, however, was the fact that they would have to drag it back to Roger's house.

"I really don't think I have the muscle mass to drag this back," Roger mused. Maurice thought for a bit, then pulled out his cell phone.

"Hey! Uh, hi Bill. Yeah, sorry about breaking your nose that couple of weeks ago. Could you maybe drive over here with a normal car and help us transport our Christmas tree. No, we are not gay lovers. Yet," Maurice babbled, then snapped his cell phone shut. For some reason, he still had a flip phone.

Probably for dramatic effect.

Hold on, he'd something about 'not being gay lovers _yet_.' While Roger had gotten over the kissing fiasco, he was not ready to be someone's gay lover. He wasn't even sure he wanted a _girlfriend_, let alone a _boyfriend_.

Hell, he wasn't sure he wanted _friends_.

About ten minutes later Bill pulled up in a very cool car. Of course he had a cool car. It was Bill, for chrissake. Everything Bill did was cool. When his nose had been broken by Maurice's feet, it had healed in a slightly askew, cool way.

But enough about Bill, Maurice looked like he needed help with the tree. And while Roger usually didn't care if people needed help with things or not, Maurice was nearly poking his eye out. And though Maurice would probably enjoy how he looked with an eyepatch, Roger would not enjoy the discussion to his parents about why, exactly, Maurice only had one eye.

They would probably blame him, as they always did.

"Careful!" Bill yelped as Maurice nearly took out one of his windows. "Damn, you nearly killed me!"

"Shut up Bill," Roger muttered. Bill gave him what could only be interpreted as a very, _very_ cool look. One that made Roger want to hide behind a tree. And Roger wasn't generally easily scared.

At all, really. In the time that Maurice had been forcing friendship upon him, they'd watched many horror movies together. Maurice liked the old Stephen King movies which weren't scary at all. Roger preferred the newer ones that actually had some fright to them – Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, Paranormal Activity, et cetera.

Eventually, they got the tree strapped to the top of Bill's car. Maurice hopped in the front – Roger smirked when he saw Bill's dismayed expression – and Roger crushed into the back.

This car was not built for people over the age of five to be in the backseat. Roger was kind of doubting the sanity of shoving a Christmas tree on top of it.

* * *

Once they got home and got the tree set up – Bill stayed to help with that, too, and Maurice paid him – Maurice pulled some ornaments seemingly out of nowhere.

"Where'd you get those?" Roger asked. Maurice grinned.

"They were selling them along with the trees," he said. "I decided to buy a box. Look! Tinsel!"

With that, Maurice threw a handful of tinsel at Roger. It hit Roger full in the face and, after taking it off of his face and throwing it at the ground, Roger leaped at Maurice. Maurice giggled and tried to evade, but, honestly, Roger was pretty fast. They ended up half-on and half-off the couch, Roger's arms encircling Maurice's middle and pulling him down to the floor. Maurice half-shrieked, half-laughed as Roger pinned him down, knees on his shoulders and hands on either side of his face.

"Ow- Roger!" Maurice complained. He struggled. "That hurts."

"I don't care."

"Mistletoe!"

"Wha-" Roger was cut off as Maurice wriggled away, grabbing Roger's hair and pulling him down to kiss him. "Mmph!"

Maurice gave Roger a little leeway and Roger jerked away. "Mistletoe. Right above us."

"Okay, who hangs mistletoe in the middle of the room?" Roger wondered. Maurice beamed. "I shouldn't have asked."

"Actually, it was Bill," Maurice said. "But I told him to. Even though I'm taller than him. He just does things if you pay him. That's definitely the sign of a future minimum-wage worker. Cool as he may be now, in twenty years he's going to be either riding around the country on a motorcycle or working at that same Christmas tree place."

"Um…" Roger said, and Maurice grinned and pulled his head down so that he could kiss him again.

Surprisingly, Roger didn't mind.

* * *

**And here we go. :) I do like this chapter.**


	11. Christmas

Roger was woken up at five A.M. by a hyperactive Maurice. Roger had an idea that Maurice had probably already consumed about thirty candy canes and eighty cups of hot chocolate.

"Lemme sleep," Roger muttered, turning onto his stomach and hiding his face in his hands. Maurice tugged at his blankets, managing to pull Roger down onto the floor. Roger buried himself deeper into his blankets and rolled under his bed. Huh. There was a six pack of Mountain Dew right over there. Roger briefly wondered when he'd bought a six pack of Mountain Dew, then shrugged it off and reached for a can.

Maurice's arm stretched out under the bed – he wasn't small enough to fit all of the way under, hah – and grabbed onto Roger's wrist. After a lot more struggling and the relocation of Roger's bed, Maurice, Roger, and the Mountain Dew were on the way downstairs. Maurice wouldn't even give Roger time to put a shirt and possibly some pants on.

Maurice himself was wearing a ridiculous pair of Harry Potter pajamas.

In their living room was a group of people. Roger honestly had no idea why there were people in his living room, but there was Jack, Bill, that Simon kid, Robert, and even that annoyingly perfect, nice _Ralph_ was sitting in between Bill and Simon. Both Bill and Simon looked like they wanted to kill each other – well, Bill looked annoyed instead of cool and Simon looked upset instead of smiley and happy and annoying.

"Why are these people in my house?" Roger asked, holding the blanket tighter. Maurice grinned and sat Roger down beside Jack. "_Maurice."_

"It's Christmas, silly!" Maurice chirped. "We're here to celebrate! After we open presents we're going to make Christmas dinner and we're all going to eat a lot and you're not allowed to eat breakfast."

"I hate you," Roger muttered. Maurice grinned and hugged Roger.

"You know you love me. Now presents!"

Roger ended up with one present from Jack, one present from Simon, one present from Bill, and about ten presents from Maurice. Roger briefly wondered why Simon had given him a present – after all, he'd met the guy once. And Roger had only bought a present for Maurice, because Maurice wouldn't stop bothering him until Roger wrapped his present, so Roger had ended up sneaking out of the house at midnight to go to Wal-Mart to buy Maurice's present and have it wrapped by the people in the mall the next day.

"I don't know who this kid is," Bill said, pointing at Simon. "Or why he's sitting so close to Ralph. He doesn't look cool enough to be sitting that close to Ralph."

Ralph looked very uncomfortable.

"You're sitting even closer to Ralph," Maurice pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm cool."

There was an awkward silence. After a few minutes, Maurice laughed awkwardly and turned to Jack. "Well, Jack, why don't you go first?"

The present-opening went by quickly – Roger's presents had been quite predictable – sunglasses from Bill, a t-shirt that was way too big for him from Jack, a little lizard in a cage from Simon, and ten horror movies from Maurice. (These movies were accompanied by another hug and a 'We can watch them together and cuddle on the couch and- ow!')

(The ow was from when Roger hit him.)

Roger had, with his parent's money, gotten Maurice his own laptop so that Maurice would stop stealing his. Maurice squealed with joy when he opened his present and promptly hugged Roger again.

There was far too much hugging going on here.

* * *

Maurice felt like he should be helping the others with the cooking of Christmas dinner – the others meaning Roger and Bill, with Simon running and getting them bowls and ingredients – but he would much rather mess around on his new laptop. He'd already downloaded Chrome and iTunes and was currently setting up his own accounts on several social networking sites. Facebook, Twitter, he even found a fun-looking site called Tumblr where there were many funny things and also a lot of gay porn.

"Maurice I- oh my god, what are you looking at?" Roger asked. He'd come back just as Maurice stumbled on more gay porn. Maurice shut the laptop and grinned up at Roger.

"Nothing!"

"Well, uh," Roger looked more than slightly unnerved. "We're done making the food, it's just cooking right now, and we were- uh, I was, uh… well, do you want to help us make some stupid Christmas cookies!"

Maurice set his laptop down and jumped up. "Yeah! I love Christmas cookies!"

The group decided to have a contest. It was originally going to be pairs, but then Bill and Simon couldn't decide who was going to be with Ralph, so it turned into Bill, Ralph, and Simon versus Jack, Roger, and Maurice. Robert was the judge.

"I don't know how to make cookies but I think we should use a lot of sugar!" Maurice suggested, bouncing up and down. Roger and Jack exchanged worried looks.

"How about no," Jack said. "You can decorate after me and Roger make them."

Roger nodded. He'd actually felt that Jack could make them and Maurice could decorate him while he sabotaged the other team, but it turned out that Jack was incredibly horrible at baking, so he had to actually work at it while Maurice kept trying to steal cookie dough.

He ended up locking Maurice in the pantry.

After a few more mishaps involving Bill and Simon fighting over who got to stand next to Ralph and Maurice screeching his head off, the cookies were made and Roger let Maurice out of the pantry.

This was a mistake, because as soon as Maurice was out of the pantry he attacked Roger. With more affection. Roger ended up falling over and Maurice still wouldn't let go of him. While Roger had been getting kind of used to Maurice attacking him with affection, he was still not a fan of prolonged hugging.

"Get away," he muttered, trying and failing to shove Maurice off of him.

"You sure you aren't gay lovers?" Bill asked. His sunglasses were off for once, and he looked surprisingly less cool without them. Less cool and more adorable.

"Not yet!"

"Not _yet_?"

* * *

Bill, Ralph, and Simon ended up winning the cookie baking contest, partially because, when nobody was looking, Roger had switched the sugar with salt and his group's cookies were incredibly salty, despite the large amount of frosting that Maurice piled on top of them.

And then it was time to eat.

It was a pretty fantastic meal. There was tons of meat and bread and Simon and Ralph had even made some orange Jell-O with pineapple inside. Simon, who was sitting beside Ralph, looked like he was about to melt. Maurice wasn't quite sure whether this was because he was proud of his Jell-O or because he was sitting beside Ralph.

After the meal, they ate Christmas cookies and soon everyone left, Bill taking both Ralph and Simon, Jack just running over to his house, and Robert wandering away in a random direction. Nobody was quite sure why he was even there.

Then it was just Maurice and Roger. They found themselves standing underneath that annoying mistletoe – Roger could've sworn that he'd taken it down, but apparently not – once again.

Maurice kissed Roger.

"Merry Christmas," he said, smiling at Roger, who was stunned, though he'd sort of been expecting this.

What he hadn't expected is the stupid warmth he felt from getting the kiss.

"Damn it, Maurice," Roger muttered after Maurice skipped away, laptop in hand.

* * *

**And we get some BillxRalphxSimon in there too, because why not. Cx **

**This will continue to be updated every Saturday, because Rogice Saturday is a sacred, sacred thing. **

**Next week will be the New Year's feature!**


	12. New Year's Eve

"Roger! Roger, today's New Year's Eve!"

Roger sighed. _Enough_ with these _stupid_ holidays. December was the worst month. The beginning of the month was okay, but the last few weeks were so stuffed full of 'merriment' and 'joy.' Roger hated it.

"You look like you're in a bad mood this morning," Maurice observed. Roger threw a pillow at him and instantly regretted it, especially when Maurice just caught it and grinned. "C'mon! We've only got all day to plan! I invited everyone that was here for Christmas except Robert because he's stupid and who cares about him and they're going to come at like seven. We don't have to feed them supper this time."

"Why do you insist on dragging people to my house?" Roger asked. Maurice didn't answer and instead pulled him out of the bed. Roger considered squirming his way under the bed again, but considering how well that had worked last time, he decided not to try it.

The first half of the day passed extremely quickly. Maurice made him make many snacks and even watched him to make sure that he was following the recipe. Roger did take some creative liberty with their lunch, however – some creative liberty that resulted in Maurice throwing up said lunch a few minutes after scarfing it down nearly whole.

"They should be coming in about an hour," Maurice said, flopping down on the couch. The food was made and Maurice had even sort of cleaned up a bit, now all that was left to do was wait.

Roger sat down beside Maurice, only for Maurice to reach over and hug him. Roger rolled his eyes. "I'm glad that I live with you now," Maurice said, pulling Roger closer to him. Roger let himself be pulled. "Jack never let me hug him. And I actually didn't really want to hug Jack that much."

"That's great, Maurice," Roger said, rolling his eyes again.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!"

"Shut up, Maurice."

They sat there for a few more minutes before someone knocked on the door. Maurice jumped up to answer it, kissing Roger on the cheek and effectively freezing him in place before going to answer it. Roger just sat there, trying to figure out what had just happened.

Maurice led Simon in. He was about an hour early, Roger realized. He hadn't really wanted people to come at all, let alone early, but… whatever. It was Simon. At least it wasn't Ralph.

Though Ralph would probably be there soon.

"Are you hungry?" Maurice asked Simon. "Roger made lots of food! And I watched to make sure that he didn't ruin it with copious amounts of salt! I'll go get you a cookie!"

Simon stood awkwardly in the living room in front of Roger, who was still a little shocked from the kissing incident. "Hello," Simon said. Roger nodded.

It was incredibly awkward.

[linelineline]

Eventually, everyone got there. Jack arrived exactly at seven o'clock – Roger had a suspicion that he waited outside until it was seven before bursting through the door way too dramatically – and Bill and Ralph showed up at seven-ten. 'Fashionably late.'

"Let's eat dessert and play board games! Or…" Maurice trailed off, getting that look on his face that told Roger that he was going to a) force Roger into doing something humiliating or b) touch Roger. Or possibly c) both.

"I am not playing Truth or Dare," Jack said.

"Fine."

"That's a kid's game. Not cool," Bill said. "And even though I'm pretty sure we're all flaming homosexuals, I don't feel like performing awkward sexual tasks with any of you. Except maybe one."

"Who?" Ralph asked, completely clueless.

"I'm not a flaming homosexual," Jack muttered. Everyone ignored him because he was wrong, and Jack was quite possibly one of the gayest of them.

"Can we play Life again?" Simon asked.

"Ooh, that's a great idea!" Maurice said, bouncing up and down. For some reason he was standing up, even though everyone else had awkwardly crowded onto the crouch with Roger. Roger wasn't really very happy with this arrangement. "But it's only for four people, so two can be on their own team and then the other four of us can be partners?"

"I'll be on my own-"

"Nonsense, Roger, we need to be partners," Maurice said. "They are guests. Ralph, you can be on your own team, and Jack, too."

Both Bill and Simon looked rather sad at not being able to be partnered with Ralph. Roger had an idea that Maurice had done this on purpose, because if he hadn't, there probably would've been a fight.

Life went smoothly, and then they watched the original 'Carrie' – Simon hid underneath the blankets halfway through and Bill even ended up taking his sunglasses off and putting an arm around Ralph's shoulder – and eventually it was almost midnight.

"Roger," Maurice said. Roger glanced at him. "I am going to be your last kiss of 2012 and your first kiss of 2013."

"What?"

Simon was still hiding underneath the blanket.

Jack looked like he was feeling awkward.

Bill kept looking at Ralph.

Ralph was blissfully oblivious.

"Ten seconds!" Maurice said, and then he kissed Roger. Out of the corner of his eye – and before he started freaking out that Maurice was seriously kissing him, not like a quick Maurice kiss but an actual kiss – he saw Bill kiss Ralph and Simon poke his head out of the blanket to be upset.

And then he realized that Maurice was actually kissing him and he kind of freaked out. They were both squished on an armchair at Maurice's insistence – 'Our guests can't enjoy themselves if they're all crushed on the couch!', and Maurice had been 'cuddling.'

Aggressively.

But now they were kissing and Roger didn't know what was going on and he was really freaking out and he was forgetting to breathe through his nose and he was pretty sure he needed to breathe and _thank god _Maurice had stopped.

"So?" Maurice asked.

"What?"

"How was your first kiss of 2013?"

* * *

**I very nearly forgot about this today.**

**Oops. Cx**

**But, anyway. New Year's Edition!**


	13. The Twelfth Day of Christmas

Maurice was a bit frustrated.

There were absolutely no holidays for the fifth of January, unless you counted the twelfth day of Christmas as a holiday, but Maurice couldn't think of what he could do for that. Roger had finally gotten over how joyous he'd had to be during the December holiday season, and it would be kind of mean to make him celebrate more, after he'd finally relaxed.

Even though it sounded kind of fun.

But, no, he'd be nice to Roger today.

At around nine-thirty, Roger poked his head out of his bedroom door. Maurice waved at him, from his position on the floor a few feet away. He was looking for good places to get a pet, because he thought that they needed a pet. Perhaps a kitten.

"Get dressed," Maurice said. "I have a plan for today."

"What?" Roger asked, not moving.

"It's a surprise," Maurice said, glancing up from the computer and grinning at Roger. Roger disappeared back inside his room.

When he wasn't back out by ten, Maurice decided to head in. He had to pick the lock, but that was only a minor deterrent. Roger was asleep, sprawled out on his bed. He wasn't dressed. Maurice tugged on his leg, and he responded by grabbing tighter to his mattress. Eventually, both Roger and the mattress were on the floor.

"Come _on _Roger, it's nothing bad," Maurice said.

"Then tell me what it is," Roger muttered into his pillow.

"If you don't come right now it will be something bad. _Halloween_ bad," Maurice said.

Roger was up and dressed in about five minutes. Maurice grinned.

* * *

Roger didn't know what was going, or why Maurice was insisting on holding his hand, but he did know that he did not want a repeat of Halloween. He was honestly willing to go along with mostly anything Maurice came up with, as long as Halloween didn't happen again.

They stopped in front of a pet shelter. Maurice drug him in past the wildly barking dogs and into a room in the back where cats crawled everywhere.

"What is this?" Roger asked, stepping back and nearly onto a cat's tail as one rubbed up against his legs. Maurice grinned.

"We're going to get a pet!"

"What?" Roger asked, looking around. "I don't like any of these cats. They're too friendly."

"I like this one," Maurice said, picking up a large, fluffy white one. "I was going to get us a kitten, but I just really like this one. You can pick one out too! Ooh, we can get two!"

Roger rolled his eyes and picked his way through the cats until he made his way to a cage in the back of the room. It was full of not-kittens but not-adults – right in the middle. Most of them were playing together, but one black-and-white one sat on the edge, all alone.

Roger stuck one of his fingers into the cage and a few of the kittens bounded over, sniffing at it curiously.

It was then that an attendant showed up.

"Oh, I'm sorry that you couldn't look at them when they were in their cages," she said. "It's so hard to pick when they're exercising – but it looks like you've already picked one out, of course."

Maurice grinned and nodded. Roger wondered how he could still be holding that monster of a cat; it looked incredibly heavy. "Roger's looking at the kittens."

"Did you want one of them?" the attendant asked, wading through a sea of cats and unlocking the cage. "Both of the tabbies are already taken, but any of the others would be fine."

Roger reached in the cage and picked up the black-and-white one. It wriggled a little, like it didn't want to be touched, and scratched his hand.

"That one's perfect for you!" Maurice said, grinning.

"If you're sure you want her," the attendant said. "Just hold onto them – Roger, is it? You can put yours in a carrier, it's going to run off otherwise."

Roger nodded and put the kitten into a carrier. It resumed staring out at all the other cats.

Maurice talked to the attendant while she put all the cats away, shifting his cat from arm to arm. He was going to be covered in white fur when he put the cat down. If he ever put the cat down.

* * *

Maurice put his new cat into a carrier while he worked out the paperwork. Technically, they needed someone over eighteen to sign it for them, but that particular shelter had too many cats already, so once Roger called his mother and asked and she replied that they could, the attendant let Maurice forge the signature.

They walked home, each with a cat carrier in hand. It was a good thing that Maurice and remembered to bring a lot money, because they'd had to buy a litterbox and food and food dishes and everything, along with paying for the shots that the cats had had.

Once they got home, they let their cats go free. Roger disappeared to get everything set up while Maurice carried his new cat to his bedroom. The large white puffball – who Maurice had decided to name 'Large White Snowflake Puffball' in a stroke of genius, Snowflake for short – wandered around for a little bit.

After a while, Maurice collapsed on the couch next to Roger. "That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I guess not – don't _hug_ me, you're covered in cat hair!"

* * *

**I'm not quite sure what this is, but… I hope it's good? Even remotely? :D**


	14. Edgar Allan Poe's Birthday

"Ooh, Roger should like this holiday, it's the birthday of Edgar Allan Poe," Maurice said to Snowflake. Snowflake meowed in response. "Wasn't there an Edgar Allan Poe movie that just recently came out? We could watch that!"

Maurice shut his laptop and jumped to his feet. He was going to go buy that movie and leave Roger here… but what if he left? That wouldn't be good. He could leave Snowflake to guard him.

Maurice picked up the cat and looked straight into its eyes. "Alright, Snowflake, don't let Roger out of his room. He gets freaked out more by affection than he does pain. So be affectionate."

Snowflake meowed, and Maurice put him down. This should be a fun day.

* * *

It was ten-thirty when Roger woke up.

He glanced at his clock, then at a different clock in case that clock was wrong. Nope. It was definitely ten-thirty. Where was Maurice?

Well, it didn't matter where Maurice was, because he was starving. He was going to head downstairs and have a bowl of cereal, then make a gigantic breakfast with eggs and bacon and pancakes and waffles and everything he could think of. The bowl of cereal was just so that he wouldn't faint from hunger.

When he tried to walk out of his bedroom, however, he was stopped by a large, fluffy cat. That stupid Snowflake thing. Roger tried to push it aside with his foot. It didn't move; in fact, it pushed back on his foot. Roger debated picking it up, then decided that he didn't particularly want to be covered in cat hair.

He retreated back into his room, glancing around for something that he could use to pick it up… and his gaze landed on the window.

Maurice had managed to get up to his window loads of times, how hard must it be to go down? Especially if he didn't care if he fell a little bit. There was a large tree out there...

Roger opened his window and shivered. Alright. It was cold. But he just had to be outside for a little bit.

He inched out the window, reaching for the branch. He slipped and fell, grabbing onto the branch just in time. It creaked dangerously.

Okay.

This was bad.

He didn't particularly want to fall on the ground, so he inched along the branch, one hand over the other, until he was over the trampoline.

He still didn't want to fall.

He closed his eyes, ignoring the fact that his arms seemed to be turning to Jell-O. Okay. He could… he could stay here until someone came and… and rescued him? No. He could stay here until his arms gave out and he fell, because then he wouldn't have a choice in the matter.

He opened his eyes a fraction, wondering if maybe he could get over to the tree and climb down. Nope. No branches below the one he was currently hanging on to. This had been a really stupid idea. How had Maurice managed to get through his window? Had he dragged a ladder over or something?

Actually, now that Roger thought about it, that's probably what he had done.

God, he was an idiot.

The branch creaked again and Roger glanced up. Shit, it was breaking.

"Roger!"

There was Maurice. Roger switched his gaze to the quickly breaking branch to Maurice, who was carrying something that Roger didn't really care about. Maurice shoved whatever he was carrying into his coat pocket and ran for the trampoline, scrambling onto it and reaching his arms up. Roger felt Maurice's hands on his knees, then Maurice wrapped his arms around Roger's feet.

"It's okay Roger, you can let go now," Maurice said. Roger shook his head.

"Nope- oh shit-" and with that Roger fell, taking Maurice down with him. Luckily, Roger landed mostly on Maurice and Maurice was on the trampoline, so they ended up both totally fine.

"You're an idiot," Maurice said. "What were you even trying to _do_?"

"Go downstairs," Roger muttered. "Your stupid cat wouldn't get out of the way and I didn't want to get covered in cat hair."

It was silent, and then Maurice burst out laughing. Roger sat up and looked at him, insulted.

"I'm… I'm sorry but…" Maurice finally stopped laughing, which was good, because Roger was about ready to hit him. "_Really?"_

"Shut up," Roger said. He shivered. It really was cold out. Maurice noticed his problem and hugged him. He wasn't that covered in cat hair, so Roger let him. "I'm hungry. Let's go in so I can make breakfast."

"And then we can watch The Raven! It's Edgar Allan Poe's birthday!"

* * *

**A little shorter than usual, but oh well. Better than last Saturday's nothing, right?**


	15. Australia Day

"It's-"

"Maurice. I don't care. Let me sleep. You made me stay up way too late last night and now I'm exhausted," Roger said. Maurice leaped from the door to Roger's bed, landing on Roger's bed. "Ow!"

"Oops," Maurice said, grinning. "Sorry. But it's Australia Day!"

"Who the fuck cares about Australia day."

"But Roger… we were going to be insultingly stereotypical!" Maurice complained. "We were going to say things like 'G'day mate, wanna go ride kangaroos?'"

"You mean you were going to do that," Roger corrected.

"Well," Maurice said. "Yeah. But it's no fun if you're mean."

"I don't like holidays," Roger said. He sat up, his hair sticking in funny directions from his pillow. Maurice had the sudden urge to ruffle his hair, and he did. Roger ducked away, scowling. "Don't touch me."

"But you're just so cute, Roger!" Maurice cooed, hugging him and petting the side of his head. Roger stiffened, then relaxed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, though, if you don't want to do Australia Day we can just… we can just do what you want to do!"

"I want to play video games," Roger muttered. "I haven't been able to do that as much since you moved in."

"Oh, that's right, you used to play loads of video games, didn't you?" Maurice mused. "Well, we can play video games then! I'll see if we have any chips and soda because I'm really hungry and don't feel like burning food to get you to cook for me."

Roger shrugged, watching Maurice go. What a weird kid.

Maurice skipped down the hall and down the stairs, pausing to pet Snowflake. He knew that they had some Doritos, and he thought that he'd picked up some pineapple pop from the store, but he wasn't so sure on that. He'd have to check.

While he checked for the pineapple pop, Roger dug through his video games to find one that was sufficiently violent. Once he did, he went downstairs – checking for Maurice's psycho cat first, of course – and spent a good ten minutes swearing at the Wii while he tried to get it disconnected and his X-box connected.

In Roger's eyes, the Wii was good for one thing, and that one thing was Netflix.

Not waiting for Maurice – who was still looking for the pineapple pop – Roger sat crosslegged on the couch and began to play his violent video game.

"Roger, I couldn't find the pineapple pop, but I found some raspberry – aw, you started without me," Maurice said, frowning. Roger nodded. He did look rather adorable killing video game people, Maurice noticed. He sat crosslegged and hunched over, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he brutally murdered dozens of people. Maurice smiled and decided that maybe he didn't need to play video games. He could just watch Roger play them.

* * *

By three PM, Maurice was starving. "Roger…" he complained. "Make me some food."

"You know where it is," Roger said. "Leave me alone."

"Roger-"

"Shut up I'm concentrating."

"Roger-"

Roger died and slammed down his controller, glaring at Maurice. "There. You killed me. Are you happy now?"

Maurice blinked. Uh. Wow. Roger was actually really scary when you distracted him from his violent video games. "I'm sorry, but-"

"Shut up," Roger said. "Fine. I'll make you some food. And then shut up and don't bother me anymore."

After Roger had finished making a feast for Maurice, he went back into the living room. Maurice, now banished to the kitchen, looked around at the food. "Video games have stolen my love," he sighed. "I'm never letting him do whatever he wants to do again."

* * *

At three AM on Sunday, Maurice crept back into the living room. Roger had apparently fallen asleep while playing video games and was now half-on and half-off of the couch, his face pressed into the controller. Maurice smiled and lifted him off of the controller and onto the couch, taking time to disconnect the X-box and reconnect the Wii so that he could watch Netflix while he waited for Roger to wake up again. Roger would definitely be mad that Maurice had turned off his game, but he could deal with it because he'd fallen asleep.

After finding some mindless comedy, Maurice looked down at Roger. He really was a cute little person. In a creepy way.

* * *

**I'm sorry that this is sort of sucky. xP **


	16. Valentine's Day

Roger woke up and glanced over at his clock right away. Hm. He'd woken up early – five thirty-four, earlier than Maurice usually burst into his room and made him get up. It was Thursday, so he had school, but there was something about this day he was forgetting…

What day was it?

Oh shit.

It was February 14th. Otherwise known as Valentine's Day. Otherwise known as Maurice's favorite holiday.

Roger would be lucky to get out of this one alive.

As if she could read Roger's mind, his kitten growled at the door. He hadn't named her – he mostly just called her 'the cat.' He'd heard Maurice call her a demon from Hell a couple of times, but he still wasn't sure if Maurice was calling the cat that or calling Roger that.

Speaking of Maurice, Roger would have to be careful while he left the house. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could leave without Maurice seeing him and just get to school unnoticed, and then get home, and _then _Maurice would make a big deal out of everything. He really didn't see that happening, but a guy could hope, right?

_Right._

As soon as he stepped out of the door he was assaulted by a pink-and-red-clad Maurice, who cheerfully held him down and shoved stuffed animals, chocolates – dark, thankfully, and balloons at his face. Roger didn't even bother to struggle anymore. He just laid there and waited for Maurice to get off of him.

After a few minutes, Maurice did get off. Roger was glad; a little bit longer and he'd probably have died from lack of oxygen.

"What's all this?" Roger asked, sitting up and letting the Valentine's stuff fall to his lap. The balloon escaped from their grips and floated to the ceiling. Roger watched as it bounced, pushed by the fan in his bedroom which was on for some reason.

"It's Valentine's Day!"

"I know."

"And you came out of your room?" Maurice asked. He looked confused, then sudden understanding came over his face. "You thought you could beat me to school!"

"…Maybe."

"Silly Roger. I'm always up first!" Maurice said, giggling and leaning over to kiss Roger on the cheek. Roger sat there, frozen, feeling himself turn bright red. _Damn it Maurice. _

After a few more moments of just sitting there, Maurice stood up. Roger, who really didn't feel like getting up because it was _five thirty_ and, really, he should be _sleeping_, looked up at him.

"I made valentines for everyone," Maurice said. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Everyone?"

"Everyone."

…

School was not fun.

Roger managed to avoid Maurice (for the most part – there was a situation in Math he didn't want to relive any time soon) until lunchtime. At lunchtime, however, was the time that Maurice decided that he was going to deliver his valentines.

He grabbed Roger around the waist and dragged him around to basically every table – Bill and Ralph (and Simon, by default) first.

"Here Ralph!" Maurice said, dropping a generic card and a Twix onto Ralph's lap. He turned to Bill. "This actually really makes no sense, but it reminded me of you so I printed it off the internet!"

He handed Bill a large picture that said 'Being a Savage is Cool.' There was a drawing of a 'cool', blond kid on the front. Bill looked at it with what Roger assumed was a skeptical expression. He couldn't really tell what Bill's expression was like, because of Bill's sunglasses covering half of his face.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't really remember what Bill actually looked like.

Hm.

That was interesting.

"Oh, and since I didn't think any candy was 'cool' enough for you, I got you an energy drink!" Maurice said, handing Bill three Monsters.

"Energy drinks don't affect me. I'm too cool for that," Bill informed them. They were all very interested in this fact that all of them totally cared about.

Then Maurice gave Simon a cute nature-themed valentine and some chocolates in a heart-shaped box. Simon blushed prettily and thanked Maurice, who proceeded to drag Roger over to the next friend.

…Which was Jack, who looked at Maurice's arm around Roger's waist with a sort of freaked out curiosity.

"Hi, Jack!" Maurice said cheerfully. Roger rolled his eyes at Jack, who returned what had become a universally known Roger gesture of friendship. "I have a valentine for you! Yesterday I made Roger bake sugar cookies, making him think that they were all for me, and I watched carefully to make sure he didn't switch out the sugar with the salt like he did last time!"

Jack rolled his eyes, but took the package of spider-shaped sugar cookies. They did have a heart cookie cutter, but Roger had refused to use it. Hearts were for losers.

"Roger, I want to talk to you," Jack said.

"Okay," Roger said. Jack looked around, then looked pointedly at Maurice.

"I mean _alone."_

"Why."

"Because- oh, Maurice, would you _go away_?" Jack asked. Maurice sighed and let go of Roger, skipping off to deliver more valentines. Jack grabbed Roger's wrist and dragged him to the boy's bathroom.

"What do you want?" Roger asked, a bit annoyed. Jack was bright red by now. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!"

Roger was a bit startled at this outburst. Jack turned an even darker red.

Roger just sort of stood there and waited.

Jack kept looking like he was going to pass out, which was silly, because passing out was Simon's deal.

"So…" Roger trailed off. "You do realize that if you don't hurry up, Maurice will come looking for us and he will drag me off, presumably to affectionately murder me, right?"

Jack took a step toward Roger, who considered backing up, but whenever you did that, people just kept walking forward, and eventually you were trapped against a wall, so he didn't. Jack dug around in his coat pocket and eventually came up with a small box of chocolates, which he shoved at Roger. He then proceeded to run out of the bathroom as fast as he could.

Maurice skipped in a few minutes later. Roger was still standing there, stunned, a box of chocolates in his hand.

"Ooh, do you have a boyfriend?" Maurice asked. "Roger, if you add me in there, it's like you have the start of a harem!"

Roger did the only logical thing and smacked him with the chocolates before storming out of the bathroom to go to class.

* * *

**A bit early because tomorrow I'll have friends over tomorrow and the next day I'm going to Hell to make pizzas, so you get it actually on Valentine's Day.**


	17. World Tuberculosis Day

"It's World Tuberculosis Day!" Maurice cheered. Roger, who was eating breakfast, just looked at him.

"There seriously isn't something better than that," he said. Maurice shook his head.

"I was disappointed, too. But at least it's better than World AIDs Day," he replied, and Roger blinked, dropping his fork on the floor.

"When the hell was _that_?"

"Oh that's right, we didn't celebrate that one…"

"How would you celebrate _World AIDs Day?"_

"You weren't comfortable enough with me yet…"

"_What?"_

…

As it was Sunday, they didn't have to go to school. Roger wanted to stay home and play video games. Maurice wanted to visit people that were in the hospital, whether they had tuberculosis or not. Roger was greatly opposed to this idea, because people who were in the hospital were dumb.

Also, hospitals sort of freaked him out.

They ended up compromising and going to a cemetery. Maurice justified this with the fact that 'some people had to have died of tuberculosis!'

Roger just liked dead people.

They wandered around the cemetery. Roger was bored, because they had been playing on the headstones, but then some guy had come around and yelled at them, and now he was watching them with a suspicious look on his face.

Maurice grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Roger didn't really care, but he did start to care when Maurice put his other hand on his waist and started _dancing _with him.

"What- we're-"

"I feel like we shouldn't be the characters to be doing this!" Maurice said, laughing and twirling Roger around and around and around. "Maybe not even the right universe!"

"You're insane!" Roger said. He was getting dizzy. He wished Maurice would stop.

Maurice glanced over his shoulder, perhaps to see if the guy was still watching them. Then he dipped Roger and kissed him.

Roger fell over.

"Oops," Maurice said. "I think I killed him."

"Shut up," Roger said. He'd come very close to cracking his head on a headstone and was glad that he hadn't. "Let me go home and play violent video games."

"But _Roger-"_

"Maurice. You just dragged me to a cemetery, made me dance, kissed me, and dropped me. _Let me go home,_" Roger said. Maurice considered it, then shrugged.

"Fair enough! But only if I can carry you!"

"Wha-" Maurice picked him up like a baby and began to walk toward the gate. Roger wasn't sure what was going on, only that Maurice was probably going to drop him again and also that Bill and his cool friends that Roger had never seen before in his life were laughing at them. Maurice smiled and waved, letting Roger's shoulder's go and sending his head speeding for the ground. Roger tried to grab onto Maurice, to not, you know, die or get a major headache, but Maurice managed to catch him in time.

"Oops," was all he said. Roger, who was clutching Maurice's neck like he was trying to strangle him (okay, maybe he was trying to strangle him a little bit), rolled his eyes. Dick.

They got home without too many more mishaps. Roger didn't feel like violent video games after nearly cracking his head open twice on the same day, so he just went upstairs to go to sleep. His cat scratched him.

He heard Maurice open the door and tiptoe inside and sighed. "Go away, Maurice," he muttered into his pillow. "Let me sleep."

"It's ten thirty in the morning," Maurice pointed out.

"And you woke me up at four. Let me sleep," Roger said, annoying with having to repeat himself. He felt the bed sink down as Maurice sat down on the end. "That's not going away and letting me sleep."

"I'm sorry," Maurice said. "I didn't mean to almost kill you two times. I just… this is just a bad day."

"World Tuberculosis Day?"

"March 24th," Maurice said. Roger thought for a bit. March 24… cemetery… sad Maurice…

Oh, right. Maurice parents had died on March 24th.

Yeah, that probably made him sad.

Roger sat up and looked at Maurice. Maurice looked sadder than Maurice should ever be.

What was he supposed to do _now_?

…

Maurice was trying very, very hard not to be sad. He normally tried to forget that his parents were kind of deceased.

No, not kind of deceased. Extremely deceased. Hearts done beating, lungs done contracting, brains done working. Six feet under. Just… dead.

But it was hard to not be sad on the anniversary of their death, no matter how hard he tried. He'd tried to be super-affectionate and super-nice today, but he'd been so over-the-top he'd nearly hurt Roger twice.

He was a bad friend.

And there he sat, on the end of Roger's bed, ignoring Roger's wishes for him to leave like he always did. He was selfish, he didn't care what Roger felt, he just did whatever he wanted without any regards to anyone else.

But now, for some reason, Roger was hugging him.

Maurice turned his head. Roger's head was on his shoulder, bright red, his eyes closed so tightly like he couldn't believe he was doing this. The sight of him made Maurice smile, if only a little bit. He wriggled a bit.

"Nope," Roger muttered. "You never let me go, so I'm not letting you go."

"No, silly, I just want to hug you back," Maurice said, and twisted around all the way. He hugged Roger back, burying his face in Roger's shoulder. Roger was still bright red, but he wasn't awkwardly tensed up like he was most times Maurice hugged him.

Maurice lifted his head and kissed Roger, but they weren't the cute, playful ones before.

This time he actually _meant _it.

"I hope you don't like Jack," Maurice said.

* * *

**sorry it's been a while but**

**here you go**


	18. Easter

The big, actually acknowledged holidays were the worst. True, Roger knew what he was supposed to be doing; he knew that it was an actual holiday, at least. But…

Maurice went so over-the-top on these ones it was ridiculous. And even though they were… maybe sort of… _together_, not just Maurice attacking him with affection randomly, it was still annoying. Maurice was still annoying, but now it didn't really matter.

On Easter, March 31st this year, Roger was up before Maurice for once. True, he had to get up at three in the morning, and even then he could hear Maurice moving around like he was almost up. He did have just enough time to make breakfast without Maurice bothering him. Roger put in his headphones and made some scrambled eggs to the tune of 'The Animal' by Disturbed. He would blast his music throughout the house, but he didn't want Maurice coming downstairs sooner than he had to. He could have some peace.

At three-thirty, he heard Maurice slam the door of his room and walk toward the stairs. Roger sighed and prepared himself for his peace to end… but then Maurice stopped. There wasn't any more noise until four, when Maurice threw open Roger's door, yelling something about Easter.

Roger grinned, finishing up the bacon and taking off the cover of the eggs, making sure that they were still hot. If not, he could always stick them in the microwave or something – to be honest, he'd expected Maurice to come downstairs sooner – but microwaved often wasn't as good.

Maurice bounded down the stairs. "You woke up before me!" he said, almost accusingly. Roger nodded, carrying the eggs and bacon to the table. "How early were you up?"

"Since three," Roger said, yawning. "I wanted some peace and quiet."

"Blaring metal music is peace and quiet?"

"Yes. I made breakfast."

Maurice grinned and hugged Roger. Roger turned red. Ever since they'd started being… _together,_ Maurice hugging him had had more of an effect on him. Less annoying and more… nice. Maurice was still extremely annoying, however, and Roger still had to stifle his urges to murder him sometimes, but he did actually like Maurice instead of just tolerating him.

"Today we're going to have a _really_ fun day," Maurice said, grinning at Roger, who decided that he was going to need some coffee. "I got you an Easter basket! And I got me an Easter basket, too! And I hid eggs all over the house last night! We're going to invite over Bill and Ralph and Simon! But not Jack because I don't like him anymore."

"Because he likes me?" Roger asked. Maurice nodded. Roger rolled his eyes and went to make his coffee.

…

Maurice called Bill and Ralph and Simon while Roger went to make some coffee. Maurice liked coffee, but Roger didn't let him drink it because he was 'afraid of what would happen.' Maurice sort of understood where he was coming from. Neither his parents nor Jack's parents would let him drink coffee, either. But Roger let him have sugar, at least. Mostly because Roger didn't like sugar, which Maurice didn't understand. Roger pretended to like salt.

Did Roger just like bland food?

Maybe…

Would Bill _ever _pick up the phone?

"What do you want, Maurice?" he said, picking up after Maurice had called him for the fifth time.

"Wanna come over today?"

"No."

"I already called Ralph. He's coming."

"…I'll be there in ten minutes."

Maurice grinned and shut his phone. He still had a flip phone, because it was fun to open and close. Very dramatic.

"Roger! Are you done cooking yet?"

"No!" Roger yelled back. Maurice had put him on kitchen duty, supplying him a ham and some potatoes for ham and scalloped potatoes. He'd also provided him with a cake mix so that he could make cupcakes, but Maurice isn't sure if Roger would actually make those.

He decided to see how Roger was doing. Maurice skipped into the kitchen. Roger was chopping up potatoes, music blaring from his iHome. Roger had an iPhone because his parents bought him stuff to make up for not ever being home. Maurice wasn't sure that they actually had to buy him stuff since Roger actually preferred it when they weren't home, but they did anyway and Roger didn't complain about it.

Roger didn't notice him, too intent on massacring vegetables. Maurice kissed him on the cheek and Roger nearly cut his finger off. "Watch it!" Roger snapped. He was pinkish. "I kind of have a knife here."

"Wouldn't it be funny if you got blood in the food and then none of our guests knew and they actually ate your blood?"

"What."

"Nothing."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Maurice left Roger to his muttered cursing and killing potatoes to answer it.

It was Simon. He seemed to always be a bit early. "Hi Simon!" Maurice said brightly. "Get over your crush on Ralph yet? Or are you planning on telling him soon? If you don't he'll probably get snapped up by Bill!"

Simon looked like he was going to faint. Of course, Simon always looked like he was going to faint and sometimes he did faint, but that was beside the point. Maurice grabbed him by the hand and pulled him in.

"I, uh, I brought Jell-O," Simon said. Maurice wondered how Simon had managed to make Jell-O in the time between Maurice calling him and him getting here, especially factoring in how far away Simon lived. "It might need to set in the fridge for a little bit."

That made more sense.

"Alright! I'll take it into the kitchen; Roger has a knife and I don't think you want to go in there. He almost killed me for making him almost chop off his finger," Maurice said, taking the Jell-O from Simon and walking into the kitchen. He would've skipped, but he liked Jell-O and didn't want it to spill.

By the time he got back, Ralph had joined Simon in the entryway. "Hi Ralph!" Maurice said. Ralph had brought cookies. This was going to be great.

…

Once Roger had finished chopping up the potatoes and gone through all of his Disturbed songs and had moved on to Five Finger Death Punch, he looked at the ham. Really, he should've put that in the oven before he'd started with those damn potatoes. But he really didn't know how to cook a ham. He'd never made a ham before in his life. Eggs and potatoes were simple enough, but ham… something as big as that…

Bill entered the kitchen, his sunglasses tucked into his shirt pocket. "Maurice said you don't know how to make ham."

"How does he know that?" Roger asked.

"He said you were muttering something about 'stupid ham I can't make a _ham_ what the fuck is this'," Bill said, and Roger blinked. Had he muttered about that? He couldn't remember. He muttered about so many things he couldn't remember what he muttered about. That was Maurice's influence on him. He used to never talk. Now he just muttered under his breath a lot, apparently.

A while later, all the food was done and everyone was sitting at the table, Maurice and Roger on one side, Bill, Ralph, and Simon on the other. "Wow," Ralph said. "I didn't know you could cook."

"Didn't we have Christmas here?" Roger muttered. "You should know by now."

People like Bill and Simon might've liked Ralph, but Roger didn't.

After everyone left, Bill taking Simon and Ralph home and Maurice promising to bring Simon back his bowl when they got back to school, Maurice pulled Roger into a hug. "I love holidays," he sighed, resting his chin on Roger's head. Roger wriggled.

"I can't breathe."

Maurice paid no attention to him, petting his head. "You're so cute, Roger," he said. Roger was bright red as well as asphyxiating.

Well, it was better than it could've been.

* * *

**happy easter a day early**


	19. International Cannibus Culture Day

"International Cannibus Culture Day. Huh," Maurice said. "I have a feeling that it would be a bad idea to celebrate that one. I think I'll just pretend that there's nothing of note on this day and let Roger sleep in. He'll like that."

So, Maurice waited outside of Roger's door until seven o'clock. This was an amazing feat for Maurice, who'd really had to hold himself back from bursting in at five-thirty. And again at six. And at six-thirty.

Roger was awake, sitting on his bed, messing around on his laptop. Maurice judged the distance and decided that, if he jumped from where he was, he could make it to the bed. So he went for it, and landed almost on top of Roger, who jumped and slammed his laptop closed. "Watcha lookin' at?" Maurice asked.

"Nothing," Roger said.

"Was it _porn_?"

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Wha- of course I'm sure! How could you be not sure if you were looking at porn or not!" Roger was getting slightly upset now. Maurice petted his head. Like usual, this did not calm Roger down and in fact made him slightly angrier. "Stop it."

"Oh, Roger," Maurice sighed. "You really need to stop overreacting. Especially around your boyfriend."

Roger froze and turned bright red. Maurice had figured that he'd have that sort of reaction to that word. Boyfriend. Maurice was Roger's boyfriend. Maurice had a boyfriend. It was sort of beautiful. Actually really beautiful, when Roger wasn't being a sociopathic asshole. Which was rare, but it did happen sometimes. Usually it was when Roger was cooking. Roger was a fantastic cook.

"There aren't any good holidays for the day," Maurice informed him.

"Can I stay here?"

"No, I'm going to take you out on a date!"

Roger, who had just recovered from turning bright red, started to turn red again.

"Let's go see Evil Dead!"

Roger brightened immediately.

…

The last movie they'd gone to in theaters was Mama – Maurice always picked movies he knew Roger would like. He liked scary movies, too, but most of the time he felt like comedies. But Roger probably wouldn't agree to go to comedies, and really all Maurice wanted was to spend time with Roger.

"Two tickets to Evil Dead, a pack of Hot Tamales, a large Coke… Maurice, what do you want?" Roger asked. He was paying because he was the only one with money. Maurice may have initiated the date but Roger always paid.

"Popcorn! And Junior Mints! And Root Beer!"

Roger rolled his eyes. "Large popcorn, a box of Junior Mints, and a medium root beer," he said. The guy behind the counter looked a bit concerned, but handed over their food and tickets while Roger handed over the money.

They went to find seats and ended up quite close to the screen. Maurice leaned against Roger, sucking down his root beer like it was the last drink on earth. Roger opened his hot tamales. They were basically the only candy he could stand.

The movie was good. It caused Maurice to hide his face in Roger's shoulder a couple of times and Roger enjoyed watching it. Maurice also spilled his popcorn all over the floor, but they managed to get out of the theater before anyone noticed. They walked through the mall, Maurice slipping his hand into Roger's. Roger jumped and jerked his hand away, turning bright red and crossing his arms over his chest. Maurice just smiled.

"What do you want to do now?" Maurice asked. "Oh! I know! Let's get an Orange Julius!"

"We're not sharing," Roger muttered. Maurice pouted.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't like the original orange and I don't like anything but the original orange," Roger pointed out.

"That makes sense," Maurice said. "Alright, then. You'll get the orange and I'll get strawberry. Wait here! I'll go by them!"

"You don't have any- and he's gone," Roger said, slumping onto a bench. He decided to listen to angry music and glare at small children to scare them away. That was always fun.

Bill showed up, looking very cool, nodded at Roger, sat down beside him, and started texting. He was wearing his sunglasses.

Of course, when wasn't Bill wearing his sunglasses?

Maurice came back then holding two large Orange Julius cups. He handed one to Roger and said hi to Bill. Bill ignored him. "I would've gotten him one, too, if I knew he was here," Maurice remarked. Bill just grabbed Roger's and took a drink of it. Roger yanked it back and debated hitting Bill. He ended up not doing this, because just then Ralph showed up and pulled Bill away to the movie theater or something.

Maurice took Bill's newly vacated seat and sucked down his large strawberry Orange Julius faster than Roger thought was physically possible.

"You know," Maurice said after a small pause. "This is a pretty good day considering it's International Cannibus Culture Day."

"What – you know, I don't even want to know," Roger said.

* * *

**There should be an update every Saturday, unless I have something come up and I don't have one written in advance.**


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